poets in a coffee house

it has been a while. two months since my mom has passed away. do i have to forgive her? what does it mean to forgive; to forget? i miss her and my heart aches and the pains don’t stop and i feel so sick. but i just can’t forgive. is it possible to love and be harmonious, yet harbor resentment and distrust? i don’t know. grief is a journey. i want to be understood and to forgive and to be happy. when will i learn? maybe i will learn, or maybe i won’t. it will be MY journey. and i can’t take that for granted.